Phrases I Will Never Use in a Story

1. It doesn't matter if you believe in God/Devil, he believes in you: Besides being overused, Keanu's brilliant and iconic role as Constantine - equally as memorable as Daniel Day Lewis' Daniel Plainview - made this phrase unusable by any mere mortals.  Note the sarcasm.  Though, I shouldn't be so flippant; it was an entertaining movie for an hour and a half of my life.

2. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here: Okay, very cool when Dante wrote these words in The Inferno.  They have a different ring in Italian, however.  Not so much when every bad horror movie (a type of movie I much enjoy) uses it.

3. My dear reader: This Victorian era word device is strange to me.  I know what all of you Buzzards are saying: "But, wait; you had a posting praising Drood, By Dan Simmons, which breaks that invisible wall and speaks to the reader in this exact way."  (Click here to read the aforementioned post.)  Very true, Buzzards.  I do not think this is necessarily a cliched phrase like the first two.  I just don't care for it.  Furthermore, Dan Simmons can do anything he damn well pleases.  If I were to stalk an author (I swear, Dan, that figure in your tree, be not me), it would be Master Simmons.

4. The Lord(s) of...in a title: Again, another cliched choice of words.  Like the others, there is a reason this has been used so incessantly...it has an intriguing ring to it.  Despite this phrasing being on my "do not use" list, I am drawn to films and books that use it.  Such a contradiction, my dear Buzzards, I know.  Still, I will not use it.  Besides classics, such as Lord of the Rings and Lord of the Flies, a brief perusal through Amazon also reveals: Lord of Illusions, Lords of Finance, Lord of Scoundrels, Lords of Strategy, Lords of Flatbush (the adolescent me will refrain from juvenile humor here), Lords of Shadows, etc., etc.

That's it; I'm Spent, Dear Reader!

An Article That Could Have Come From the Ether...But, Didn't

Take a look at the below article that is as mind-bending as anything that escapes from the ether, but is actually based in current quantum theory.  Time is not what it once was.

Does the Past Exist Yet? Evidence Suggests Your Past Isn't Set in Stone, by Robert Lanza, M.D.Scientist, Theoretician

Proof that Beings from The Ether are Possessing People in Our World

Well, Buzzards, be afraid...be very, very afraid.  I have audio-visual proof that beings have escaped through cracks in The Ether to invade our mind.  Behold, exhibit A:



If they are all able to "communicate" as well as this ether-escaping being, we are in trouble.  They will play with our minds, convince us of things that there is no evidence for and implant ideas that prompt us to believe that nefarious forces are at work to upend everything that we have come to know and love.  We will believe that we have learned the truth and we will act on this perceived truth in ways that we believe to be in our best interest.  But, in reality, they will be giddily sitting back as we do their bidding.

Which brings me to Exhibit B:



Next stop, these ether-beings may be in the senate.

I find this news - about masturbatory pleasures - to be unfortunate, because I am so going to burn in hell...along with all the gays, adulterers, children who talked back to their parents, people who ate seafood without fins or scales (shellfish), farmers who planted two kinds of seeds in the same field and, finally, those who wore a garment woven of two kinds of material.  Oh, well, at least I will have something to do to make the time pass.

Other truths that this ether-being has also said:

"We took the Bible and prayer out of public schools. Now we're having weekly shootings. We had the 60s sexual revolution, and now people are dying of AIDS."

Truths?!  Oh, no, the "communication" mind tricks are working on me.  Buzzards, save me!

Short Story: Solitary Man, Part 2

Oh, my lovably insane Buzzards, if you have not yet read part 1 of this story (which I find hard to believe), here you go: Solitary Man, Part 1

Solitary Man, Part 2

This story has been removed as it will be published in the June 2011 edition of Deadman's Tome.

Books for Understanding the World: Authoritarianism and Polarization in American Politics

I can already hear the outcry from all those fanatical Buzzards yelling, "What the hell does some crazy political theory book have to do with the ether, you stupid - albeit sexy and sensual Draperesque Man Whore- Mo' Fo'?!"  This would be followed by exchanges of: "We love you! We hate you! No! We love you!"  It is a hard balance The Buzzards must strike.  (For those unfamiliar with the insanity of The Buzzard Group (TBG), learn a little more from my first post. Also, for those men who feel that guilt for having a man-crush on Draper, despite him being a bit of a jerk, and for those women who shamelessly love him, watch this SNL skit.)

So, my imaginary, adoration-filled psycho contingent, here is the scoop.  We must learn about the insanity that comes from the human mind so that we can recognize that which comes from the mysterious bowels of the ether...if these are indeed two different places.  Strike everything I just wrote, Foo!  The ether may not exist outside the human mind, so the aforementioned drivel is just an excuse to expose all of you to some great books that should be read to understand the world we now live in.  Recognize, Yo!  By the way, my cat with an alternative lifestyle said he would cut you, Buzzards, if you broke in the house again.  He may like to be called pretty, but he's deadly.  But, seriously, I thank you for your loyal readership.

So, the book: Authoritarianism and Polarization in American Politics, by Marc J. Hetherington and Jonathan D. Weiler.

This book should be read to understand the psychology of the authoritarian mind and, as a consequence, the social dynamics that are created from this predisposition.  Hetherington and Weiler discuss how this reactionary proclivity prompts authoritarians to turn against all societal segments that are seen as "the other" and viewed as a threat to a perceived way of life.  They further reveal how societies are in conflict between those with an authoritarian outlook versus those without.  Despite what may seem a biased examination, the book is quite fair and does address how times of great social stress can cause latent authoritarian tendency to reveal themselves in all groups.  This is from an academic press, so it is heavy on analysis.  If you are a data-junky like me, you will love it.  Still, do not let this deter you, Buzzards.  It is not longer than it needs to be, is well written and most of the data-filled sections can be skipped while maintaining an understanding of the subject.

This is a worthwhile read, whether you agree with the authors' positions or not.  If, Buzzards and non-Buzzards, you find the book erroneous, ridiculous, wrongheaded, and a product of those liberal academics who have never had a real job so they don't know what they are talking about...please, argue your point.  It is better to learn new information and incorporate it into one's analysis that leads to some attempt at a truth, than to figure out the truth first and suit the variables to fit what feels good...in other words, confirmation bias.  If you are not familiar with the term, confirmation bias, read this Science Daily article.  In short, it is the condition where people do not incorporate facts or new information into their reasoning, only information that confirms their current beliefs.  We are all guilty of this in some fashion, Buzzards, but for some it is the rule, not the exception.  Anyhow, I welcome the discussion!

Below, I have pasted one of A&P's reviews in case all you Buzzard are sitting back and saying I am full of poo-tar.

The once-dormant concept of authoritarianism has seen a rebirth in recent years, as scholars have begun to appreciate fully its explanatory power. Nowhere has this power been analyzed more thoughtfully than in Authoritarianism and Polarization in American Politics, where Hetherington and Weiler argue persuasively that the evolving political landscape, whose topography is often shaped by visceral issues such as race, crime, feminism, sexual orientation, immigration, and terrorism, is the inevitable result of the clashing and irreconcilable worldviews of individuals with, and without, authoritarian belief systems, who simply think about the world in fundamentally different, and polarized, ways. Perhaps the most important contribution of this book, however, is the insight that authoritarianism does not explain everything political; conditions sometimes arise that cause people with different worldviews to see the world the same way. After 9/11 a large proportion of Americans supported torture, wiretapping, and preemptive war. These were not fringe positions taken only by hard-core authoritarians. Rather, the authors show that reasonable people want to feel safe, too, and will support a strong hand when they feel threatened. This book will be central to our understanding of the roots and ramifications of post-9/11 politics.
-Jon Hurwitz, University of Pittsburgh

Well, feather-(there's only one word that really rhymes here, so I will move on) - I've got to go see a man about a horse.

Transformation, Anarchy and Rebirth in the Ether

Our house was recently broken into.  The police are baffled as they cannot determine how the intruder got into the house.  It's as though this individual just slipped through the cracks.  A neighbor saw the intruder and gave a description to the police artist who drew the following composite sketch:



Needless to say, the intruder did not leave any fingerprints.  This nefarious villain took nothing and left the house completely undisturbed, save for a threatening letter.  Here, my followers, is the letter:

The first thing I must say about this letter is, "how pathetic!"  It is meant to intimidate me and my family.  In order to hide their handwriting they used pictures to convey the message, but, apparently, they realized how poor their artistic skills were, so they wrote the words above the pictures.  Seriously?!  Very sad.  Anyhow, we all know who is behind this; we will not be fooled.  Buzzards, your obsessive fan-mania may have just gone too far.  Still, I know why you take the actions that you do.  You want part 2 of my short story, Solitary Man.  Understandable.  Well, Buzzards, you will have to wait just a couple more days.  However, just to hold you over, I thought I would offer you a preview to a movie that is truly from somewhere deep within the ether: Tokyo!.






Watch this trailer; it is truly amazing and definitely makes you want to see this film.  Moreover, this is a situation where, though the film is worth watching, it does not quite live up to the the trailer.  This is due in large part to the excellent choice of soundtrack.  The song is, Be Good, (which is a hint to The Buzzard Group) and the band is Tokyo Police Club.  Still, check out Tokyo!; it is worth a viewing.  It is comprised of three short films by three different directors; including:

• Michel Gondry: BE KIND REWIND, ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
• Leos Carax: THE LOVERS ON THE BRIDGE
• Bong Joon-ho: THE HOST

So, there you are, my fine Buzzards and other non-Buzzard fans, watch this movie and buy this album and get your ether fix to hold you over until my next story entry.

A book from the Ether: Drood, by Dan Simmons

Well, hello again, Buzzards.  Here is one for the reading list: Drood, by Dan Simmons. Arguments of poor writing levied against many in the speculative fiction arena do not hold when it comes to this author.  Here, Simmons creates a dark and mysterious reality around Charles Dickens' unfinished work, The Mystery of Edwin Drood. 

The story is told through the eyes of Wilkie Collins, another Victorian author and friend of Dickens.  Together, the two explore the sewers beneath London in search of the otherworldly Drood, a man supposedly responsible for hundreds of murders.  Simmons, a genre-crossing author who is equally comfortable writing science-fiction, mystery and horror, revels in research.  Like his other Victorian-era novel, The Terror, he creates a vivid picture of the place, time and people without losing sight of what really matters, the story.  Now, Buzzards, I know what you will say: "That is a damn big book."  And, my feathered followers, you are correct, it is.  But, it will never feel like it as you are compelled to stay up late with the lights on.  This may stand as one of my favorite Simmons books, who is also one of my favorite authors.  Check it out and enjoy!

Short Story: Solitary Man, Part 1

Before introducing the first short story I will post on this blog, it is necessary to explain what brought this about. All of you non-Buzzards out there should understand some things about The Buzzard Group (TBG). (For those of you who don't know about TBG, reference my first post here.) Yes, they are my slightly imaginary fan base. However, the group members are a bit unhinged in a fatal attraction sort of way. Case in point, I received a written message yesterday, stating the following:

Dear Sir,

The distinguished and hairy members of the The Buzzard Group would like to inform you that if you do not proceed with your stated purpose of your blog, Stories from the Ether, we will be forced to remove all of the toilet seats and toilet paper from your home. Tootle Do.

Regards,

TBG

To further demonstrate the seriousness of the aforementioned threat, it was delivered by the below individuals:

The giant demon samarai played guitar while Norman Bates in momma-drag sang the message. Look how animated he was.  I think Boba was just there for some muscle. They all rode in on the giant lizard. Don't worry too much, non-Buzzards, they were not as big as they appeared.


So, now to the actual introduction of the story.
Solitary Man stemmed from two sources: a song and a book. The song is called Age of the Freak, by Stardeath and White Dwarfs. As I listened to the song, I kept picturing someone "freakish" being locked away in a cellar. At the time I was also reading a wonderful book called Justice: What's the Right Thing to Do, by Michael J. Sandel.

Sandel reviews the ideas of several prominent thinkers in the areas of freedom and justice, two of which are Immanuel Kant and Jeremy Bentham. Kant's ideas of how social structures, in essence, manipulate the subjective perception of individuals, prohibiting them from being free and Bentham's Utilitarianism ended up playing heavily in the story. (Lost fans may remember a character going by the name Jeremy Bentham for a short time. A character, incidentally, who is named John Locke, another British Enlightenment philosopher...gives you a whole new insight into the show.) Anyhow, these concepts were not the primary intent in writing the story, however. The intent was to create a creepy world.

Hope you enjoy the story. Future installments will come every week or so.

Solitary Man

This story has been removed as it will be published in the June 2011 edition of Deadman's Tome.

The First Entry...What I am Reading Now

As opposed to my first blog being an example of my own writing, I figured I would take the cowardly route and promote someone much more skilled at the craft than I. I am currently reading The Passage, by Justin Cronin.

This book has already received a great deal of praise from critics as well as the likes of Stephen King, so it is not necessary to go into too much detail here. Despite being a fan of King, I have to admit that he gives his name and positive comments quite freely, so this means little at times. Perhaps, he is simply charitable and likes helping out budding writers (who would not be thrilled with an encouraging quote from King...hint, hint, Stephen, if you are reading). Here, however, it is much deserved. Apparently, Ridley Scott's production company has already snapped up the film rights and there are two sequels in the works. For those comparisons to one of King's own works, The Stand, I don't see it. Both are post-apocalyptic (that's never been done before) and that's about it. I do think Cronin should thank all of those responsible for the financial collapse and economy that has given so many people some unexpected time off as it really put the book buyers in the mood for some good ole' end of the world hoedown type of s$$t.

I may be preaching to the converted here...the only reader of Ether may be my wife, who read The Passage before me and loved it. If this is the case, I will now create an imaginary collective of groupies who hang on my every word. They will be...no, they are called The Buzzard Group. So, Buzzards, I know you have all been waiting for me to direct you to new sources of literary entertainment (besides my own works, of course, that have received critical praise from the famous, D). Here it is: The Passage. Now, go to it!

Until next time, Buzzards...

(P.S. - With the exception of a guy turning into a pig (reminiscent of The Time Bandits), I do not recommend watching Spellcaster. I think it cost about $.32 to make. As I write this, it is streaming in the background from Netflix.)